Stop the Arguments in your Head
One of the best ways to increase your personal positivity is catching negative self-talk as it’s happening and stopping it. Easier said than done, right? Actually, in this case, it IS easy.
I used to have perpetual arguments in my head. You know the kind:
“I should have said ______ to ______. Then I should have said _______. That would have shown him/her!”
“What the heck does he think he’s doing? Can’t he see I’m next in line? I’m going to take this can of beans and ______.”
Unfortunately, this kind of thinking feeds on itself. Pretty soon, there’s a negative feeding frenzy going on between your ears.
My technique is based on simple cognitive psychology technique.
Just say “stop.”
I know it sounds simple - and it is! - but it really works. You just have to become more aware of your negative self-talk. Listen to the voices going on and on inside your head. Decide which ones are not serving you, then say, “Stop!” Out loud.
It seems silly or a light fix, but it’s the first step toward a deeper awareness of your internal bickering.
JUST SAY “STOP!”
It’s a good technique and I’m sure it works….so long as you are able to catch yourself. The trick is to see yourself following the negative stream of thoughts and emotions in time to stop it before it takes you on a dark ride. For most people negativity is an automatic response to life events. Thoughts arise and emotions follow or sometimes the reverse is true; negative thoughts follow an emotional response. I would suggest meditation as an effective tool for seeing your inner landscape and catching yourself as negativity arises. There are many systems of meditation and they all work if you hold the self discipline to stay with the practice over time….indeed over a lifetime. In due course the inner witnessing experienced during meditation will expand into every moment of life. Nothing will happen that you’re not seeing your reactions to that event. By the way, avoid paying a high price to learn to meditate. There are no special techniques that are superior to others. The best system is the one you are most comfortable with and over the years you may modify or change your meditation practice. Most important is staying with it. There are many places you can learn to meditate free of charge. Research it.
I’ve been plagued with this my whole adult life. It’s something I started doing when I was about 14 as things were not good at home. I found inventing another world in my head very useful as an escape. Trouble is, it can take over. I tend to imagine situations in real time, acting it all out in real time - saying the things I wish I had said, instead of what actually happened. This can get very intense, a little obsessive.
Then I came across a book called The Secret, which I found very useful for a few months, it really lifted me up and away from negative thoughts altogether. But the problem is there’s no moral back up, there’s no more to it. The answer to the frustrations of life cannot just be ‘don’t think about it’ !
This is why I lost interest and drifted back in to re-running the past, planning the future and getting angry and detached from the world.
In the last year I’ve discovered Christianity, the teachings of Jesus, the New Testament. Everything is explained. The ‘don’t think about it’ solution really is empty. I don’t go to church, I just read The Bible. I did go to a church, but it’s all weird and liberal and all of them just seem to grin all the time ! OCD grinning.
Anyway, the teaching of Jesus, I’ve found, are the truth. See for yourself.