Holidays are often a trying time, though it’s a hidden pain. No one wants to be seen as the Scrooge, shunning joy and gratitude. Yet the truth of the matter is many of do have a tough time during this time of the year. How can you add some positive news to your life during the heart of the winter when you may want to crawl inside of a hole?

First, let go of expectations. Expectations run high around the holidays. We want our holidays season to be just like the ones in the movies or magazines. Or maybe you think your neighbor seems to have it all together when your family seems like a dysfunctional mess! Whatever the case, let go this year. Ask yourself, “What can I do to make this holiday good for me?” Maybe its nothing. Maybe its a quiet meal and a good movie. Maybe you could do without the hoopla one year.

Give. Nothing brings you out of the seasonal doldrums more than focusing on others. If you can’t seem to get your act together to do some serious volunteer work, then keep it simple. Maybe you can go to a local park and do some trash pick-up. Maybe there’s an elderly woman you could sit with for an hour. Maybe you haven’t been giving to yourself in a true and sincere manner. Remember, the act of love starts with you and expands, like a ripple in a pond.

Be sad. We live in a culture that just can’t stand negative emotions. In turn, we often feel guilty when we just feel badly. Sadness is a good emotion. It means your human. It means you’ve experienced loss and disappointment and loneliness. It means you’re alive. Allow yourself this holiday to feel sad without the guilt of feeling sad.

Get outside. There’s something about nature that naturally lifts the spirits. Turn off the radio and television for a bit and celebrate the holidays by celebrating the great outdoors. Breathe, be thankful for the cold, blue sky. If you believe in a higher power, be thankful for being alive today. Maybe the holidays can simplified to that: being grateful for life on this earth, in all of its forms.