We’ve all been there before. Someone says something that triggers you and slowly, you feel your blood pressure rising, your jaw clenching and your need to reply before they’re finished speaking becomes overwhelming. Whether it’s your partner, friend or business associate, we all have to manage our own reactivity for the sake of our mental and physical health.

What are some steps to center you, in the face of your own rising storm?

1. Breathe. I know - you probably tire of me saying it. But going back to your breath is one of the single most effect techniques you have in your arsenal. If your boss is wrongfully attacking you, instruct yourself to begin breathing deeply as you listen. Not only does it center you, it keeps your blood pressure down and your body calm - therefore protecting you from the deleterious effects of stress. (Remember - stress is a killer.)

2. Speak slowly. Arguments often escalate as we accelerate. Focus on speaking quietly and slowly. Again, it protects you from damaging stress and keeps the situation more manageable. It also helps you to speak more soundly and make your point more effectively.

3. Vent! Listen, it stinks being wrongfully accused or maligned. It’s awful getting in a heated argument. When you’re done, remind yourself that it’s VERY important to dispel that negative energy. Whether it’s a run or talking to a friend or crying or playing a song very loudly, do something. Don’t just carry on. Take a moment to check-in with yourself. See what you need.

4. Distance yourself. One of the best aspects of meditation is the training it gives you to take a step back from the internal chattering voices. Look at a situation from a far. “Hmmm…I’m getting really angry because my wife is yelling at me. That’s interesting. I wish she wasn’t yelling but she is.” Emotionally distancing is a way of looking at your life as if it was a movie. It gives you some breathing room from the hot bed of lava burning inside!