Sometimes we hang on to pain so dearly, it begins to define us. We don’t know what we’d do without it. We get used to it, like an old, moth-worn blanket that never really keeps us warm.

This week, we offer up quotes on letting go:

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you. And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.” Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

“It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.” Mick Jagger

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”

Image Source: TheEnvisage

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and one of the longest married couples, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher, were getting busy…on Twitter. That’s right. They took questions from people all over the world and revealed some the secrets of their 84 year-old marriage. Check it out at @longestmarried.

Here are some of their response Tweets:

• With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure. Divorce was NEVER an option - or even a thought.
• We grew up together & were best friends before we married. A friend is for life - our marriage has lasted a lifetime.
• We wouldn’t change a thing.There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family.
• (Re: Mr. Right) Mine was just around the corner!He is never too far away, so keep the faith - when you meet him, you’ll know.
• Respect, support & communicate with each other.Be faithful, honest & true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.
• The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs - together.

Perspective is everything. It’s so easy to get spun out on our own endless, constant thoughts. Today, come up with some creative ways to be present, quickly and simply.

A friend of mine swears by this:

“When I feel like I’m stuck in my own head, I just look up at the sky for a minute. Well, more than look at it - I take it in. I realize the space, the openness. Sometimes just a few seconds is enough to derail the buzz going on in my head.”

What way can you become more present? Maybe it’s a bath, a breath, a song, a laugh, a stretch, a walk, a talk, a yell, a smell, a dog, a plunge into cold water…

This week’s quotes focus on the topic of relief. We all know it when we feel it. And sometimes we work too hard to get some. Or look for it in all the wrong places. Here’s some quotes intended to lift the weight off of your shoulders:

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” - Mark Twain

“Sorrow comes to all…Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again.”- Abraham Lincoln

“Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren’t. But you can’t tell the difference when you have no real information. Fear can create even more imaginary obstacles than ignorance can. That’s why the smallest step away from speculation and into reality can be an amazing relief. The Reality Solution means: Do it before you’re ready.” - Barbara Sher

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin

It is such a relief to be told the truth.
Katherine Anne Porter

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.
Charlie Chaplin

There is a great relief in experiencing the worst vicariously.
Fiona Shaw

When I cleaned up some 17 odd years ago, I felt terrible for about six months. The only thing that gave me any real relief was strenuous physical activity.
James Taylor

Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all and you will find not only that you gain a perfect inward relief, but often also, in addition, the particular goods you sincerely thought you were renouncing.” -  William James

Even amidst the rubble, the pain, the hopelessness, hope still exists in Haiti. And no better exemplified than this story in Gimundo:

More than two weeks after the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed hundreds of thousands of lives and homes, search-and-rescue operations had seized. Rescuers had given up hope for those trapped in the earthquake rubble, instead focusing their efforts on helping the quake’s survivors, many of whom were injured and had little access to food or water.

But yesterday, while walking past the rubble of a home in Port-au-Prince, someone heard a weak voice calling out beneath the gravel. French rescue teams were alerted, and immediately set to work lifting the debris to find the person who had cried for help.

Soon, they had dug a hole to uncover

Darlene Etienne, a 17-year-old student at the nearby St. Gerard University, whose home had collapsed on top of her during the quake. Though rescuers held little hope of survivors staying alive in rubble for more than a few days, Etienne had lasted over two weeks, and was still conscious when the authorities pulled her out of the wreckage.

Authorities believe that Etienne was able to survive for so long because she may have had access to water from the home’s bathroom, and had a small amount of soda with her. Nonetheless, she wouldn’t have lasted much longer.

“She was in very bad shape,” rescuer Claude Fuilla told ABC News. “We had to rehydrate her for 15 minutes.”

Etienne was quickly flown to a hospital, and thanks to the rescuers’ assistance, it looks like she will be able to recover from her long ordeal.

“Now, her condition is stabilized,” said Fuilla. “She ate. She is speaking … She is not very lucid, but she is OK.”

Today, we take a moment to celebrate The Onion.

The Onion is a satirical newspaper that has been making fun of the “real” news for years now. Poking fun of our current events allows us to take a step back and laugh - to not take it all too seriously. Laughter, of course, is the greatest medicine.

The staff consists of some ridiculously smart and daring writers who pride themselves in producing “faux news” and clever headlines.

Some of their headlines include:

Man With Apple Hovering In Front Of Face Sues René Magritte’s Estate

New VH1 Show Cancelled For Not Being Pathetic Enough

Woman Profoundly Moved By Lyrics Artist Put Zero Time Or Effort Into

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

‘I Am Under 18′ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

Powerful ‘His And Hers’ Towel Lobby Stalls Gay Marriage Legislation

MTV Movie Awards Snubs Director Jonas Mekas Yet Again

Commas, Turning Up, Everywhere

Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequences

History Doomed To Repeat Itself, Reports Man Who Just Dropped Food On Pants

Hashing out headlines at The Onion: From left, Will Tracy, Dave Kornfeld and Todd Hanson.

Photo Source: NY Times (plus great article on their process)

We tend to think of careers in black or white. You’re either an accountant or a chef. Never the twain shall meet. One dream must make room for another. Not in this physicians case, who has figured out a way to conjoin a childhood dream with his medical profession:

Dr. Eric Roter has two personas: an emergency room doctor who tends to cardiac arrests and accident victims and a Juilliard-trained cellist who uses his instrument to help cure the medical conditions he treats. Dr. Eric Roter plays the cello to raise awareness about ankylosing spondylitis.

His usual introduction to patients at Ohio’s Kaiser Permanente’s Cleveland Heights Medical Center is, “Hi, I’m Dr. Roter, where does it hurt?”

But now, as holiday giving reaches its peak, Roter and his cello are featured in a series of YouTube videos — “Bach to Health” — designed to raise funds for some of the toughest diseases, from lupus to cancer.

Making his debut as a soloist at New York City’s Lincoln Center at age 17, Roter abandoned a promising music career to study medicine. While he was heartened by helping others, he also felt a “betrayal for leaving an art that was so near and dear to me.”

As a student in New York, he occasionally performed as a street musician and never forgot the charity of passersby who tossed donations in his cello case.

Today, at 46, he has perfected the solo suites by Johannes Sebastian Bach — “the heart of cello literature” — and dedicated each of the 36 movements to a national medical charity.

“People trust me with their lives in the ER,” said Roter. “Perhaps they would trust me if I taught them a bit about some of the medical conditions I treat. Perhaps I could inspire people to donate to some great health care charities.”

His medical colleague at the hospital, Dr. Aaron R. Smith, said Roter likes the flexibility of emergency room shift work so he can pursue his art.

Source: ABC News

One man’s tireless efforts make a big difference for children in need.

George Ouellette may be retired after 40 years as a salesman, but he still works up to six or seven hours per day walking through parks, hillsides, along busy roads and even rummaging through garbage cans to collect cans and bottles to help create smiles for children.

The 84-year-old collects enough cans and bottles to equal $250, reimbursable for five-cents each at the local recycling center and then writes a check to Operation Smile for the full amount. Since 2005, Ouellette has collected over 100,000 cans, raising a total of $4,440 and providing 19 surgeries for children suffering from clefts. He collects around 1,000 cans a week year-round.

Even the winter season in Chelmsford, Mass., doesn’t slow down his mission as he wears flannel-lined jeans to keep warm. Ouellette first started volunteering and supporting Operation Smile when he saw a television show on Operation Smile in 2005.

Ouellette could not believe that a child’s cleft lip or cleft palate could be repaired for only $240. “The work of Operation Smile struck a chord in my dad and he decided that this would be his job - his purpose,” said Sue Ouellette, his eldest daughter.

Ouellette also has the support of his four grown children, who buy him warm clothes and items for collecting cans and bottles as holiday gifts. “My dad was a hard-working salesman for many years. However, he felt like he had not done enough to give back to the world, even after raising and educating four children,” said Sue Ouellette.

“He’s not only an amazing father and volunteer; he’s an inspiration to anyone.”

Source: HappyNews.com

www.operationsmile.org

Here come the holidays, like a giant tidal wave. You can run but you cannot hide! Is there a way to navigate these life landmarks without feeling bowled over?

Sure. It requires simplifying. A few posts ago, we discussed the idea of not overdoing it with gifts this year and figuring out some alternative ways to give.

Since Thanksgiving is a few days away, what can you do to simplify?

1. Be genuinely thankful. Wake up in the morning and spend ten quiet minutes giving thanks for all that is going well in your life. Even if you’re experiencing an extremely challenging time, there are always things for which to give thanks. Think small. Be thankful for a good cup of coffee. A hot shower. A good, old movie that made you cry, The clean, crisp air.

2. Don’t overdo it. It’s become almost tradition to overdo it on the holidays - eating until we’re ready to burst. For the sake of others on this planet who have none, try not to stuff yourself to the gills. Respect your body’s limit. Take a break. Drink water. And wrap up every leftover. Give it to friends or charities who may need some extra. (I have some young college guys who live down the street - they’ll love the extra turkey this Friday!)

3. Make genuine connections. This one may be the hardest. Some of us don’t have “perfect” relations with our families so holidays can be trying and draining. This year, try to move past some of your internal walls. Listen to people with a little more care, extend yourself, be warm, be kind, be grateful for the ways they’ve contributed to your life. In short, give back!

Give back to yourself as well. One technique I’ve mastered? The holiday break! Go for a walk after dinner alone. Go sit with yourself in an empty room and breathe. Take a few minutes to read a book. Break from the pack and reconnect with yourself, even if its for a short period. (This one makes a big difference - trust me!)

Listen - the holidays can be beautiful times but they’re no walk in the park. Its up to you to change the unspoken rules and make them work for you. And it doesn’t take much.