It’s easy to feel daunted by the idea of forgiveness. We all have people or situations we’ve needed to forgive and sometimes, it can feel next to impossible. It can seem to take years sometimes - even a lifetime.

Radical forgiveness is an idea developed by author Collin Toppin. It doesn’t take a lifetime. As a matter of fact, it can take minutes. One premise? That we simply entertain the idea that the problematic person or situation entered into our life for a reason. We don’t even have to believe it. This alone starts a ripple effect that breaks the hold of hurt and anger.
Here’s a little more about radical forgiveness:

Radical Forgiveness is easy and instantaneous because it is a shift in perception that allows you to understand that, in truth, looked at from the perspective of the spiritual ‘big picture,’ nothing wrong ever happened.

What brings about such a radical shift in perception - especially in situations where one feels very vicitimized and hurt? Surprisingly, it requires only a willingness to accept the possibility that life is not simply a series of random and haphazard events but is, in fact, the unfoldment of a Divine plan that is unfolding for us exactly how it needs to unfold for our spiritual growth.

In other words, every event, however pleasant or unpleasant, has been called forth by a Higher Aspect of ourselves that knows exactly what we need for our own healing. When we live more out of that idea than the victim story, life begins to work perfectly.

So how do we get there? Well, lack of forgiveness is nothing more than stuck energy, caused by past judgments, criticisms, blame and resentments. The way forward is use tools or processes that help us release that stuck energy, raise our vibration and become the loving beings we have the potential to be.

THE PROCESS OF RADICAL FORGIVENESS

In my workshops, I help people to shift the energy and move into Radical Forgiveness by basically following these five steps:

1. Tell the Story: You must begin from where you are. You are a spiritual being having a human experience that involves emotional experiences. We make it up that emotions are undesirable and wrong, so when we get upset about something we make up a ‘victim’s story’ and blame others for our unhappiness. Having that story heard and witnessed is the first step to letting it go. Likewise, the first step in releasing victimhood is to own it fully. So, in this step, you tell your story, and it is honored as your truth in the moment.

2. Feel the Feelings: Here you are encouraged to feel the feelings. It is the vital step that many so-called spiritual people want to leave out thinking that they shouldn’t have ‘negative’ feelings. That’s denial and misses the crucial point that the feelings is where the authentic power is and that our strength, in fact, lies in our vulnerability and our willingness to show up as fully human. You cannot heal what you don’t feel. When people access their pain, this is the beginning of their healing.

But this is not necessarily digging up the past. In fact, doing so is not necessary at all. Whatever is upsetting you now represents the past and following the feelings (the energy), as they are occurring while you tell your story, automatically heals the past pain. It is not even necessary to know what the original pain was. That’s why I say that Radical Forgiveness requires no therapy.

3. Collapse the Story: This takes the power out of the victim story you made up. The Navajo Indians had a ceremony for doing this. Anyone with a grievance could come to the circle three times to tell their story, and they would be heard. On the fourth occasion everyone would turn their backs. “Enough already! Your story is just a story. There’s no real truth to it - it is just an illusion. We have heard it three times and we no longer wish to give it power. Let it go and then let yourself move towards what is really true.”

4. Do a Radical Forgiveness Reframe: Here we replace the ‘illusionary’ story with another story - the Radical Forgiveness ‘story.’ This one says that what appeared to have happened, far from being a tragedy, was in fact exactly what we wanted to experience and was in that sense, absolutely perfect.

This is often very difficult to accept, but the good thing is it does not require you see WHY it is perfect, or that you must GET the lesson involved. It is nearly always beyond our ability to comprehend anyway, so it’s a waste of time trying to figure it out.

Willingness is all that is required You just have to be willing to open to the idea that there is a gift in it somewhere, and then choose peace. It really is that simple. When we get used to thinking this way, it’s amazing how simple and easy life becomes. It’s so freeing to stop resisting (judging) life and surrender to what wants to naturally occur. Life with Radical Forgiveness can be very sweet.

5. Integration: After you have allowed yourself to be willing to see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level. That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so it becomes a part of who you are. It’s like saving what you have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent. I find that breathwork is the best way to integrate this work and I seldom ever do a Radical Forgiveness workshop without what I call a ‘Satori’ breath session. Other ways to integrate is through speaking affirmations, walking, doing forgiveness worksheets, ritual and ceremony.

The Olympics have been going on a long, LONG time. Our collection of quotes includes the new and the very old!

“So you wish to conquer in the Olympic games, my friend? And I too, by the Gods, and a fine thing it would be! But first mark the conditions and the consequences, and then set to work. You will have to put yourself under discipline; to eat by rule, to avoid cakes and sweetmeats; to take exercise at the appointed hour whether you like it or no, in cold and heat; to abstain from cold drinks and from wine at your will; in a word, to give yourself over to the trainer as to a physician. Then in the conflict itself you are likely enough to dislocate your wrist or twist your ankle, to swallow a great deal of dust, or to be severely -thrashed, and, after all these things, to be defeated.”

~ Epictetus (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)
The greatest memory for me of the 1984 Olympics was not the individual honors, but standing on the podium with my teammates to receive our team gold medal.

~ Mitch Gaylord (American gymnast, 1984 Summer Olympics)

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.

~Pierre de Coubertin (founder of modern Olympic Games)

The Olympics have been with the world since 776 B.C., and have only been interrupted by war, especially in the modern era.

~ Bill Toomey (American decathlete, 1968 Summer Olympics)

Perhaps I don’t give the impression that I’m hurting on the track. But that is because I am animated by an interior force which covers my suffering.

~ Noureddine Morceli (Algerian athlete, 1996 Summer Olympics)

Maria Nafpliotou, in the role of an ancient Greek high priestess, lights a torch from the Olympic Flame during the handing over ceremony for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics at the Panathenian marble stadium in Athens on October 29, 2009. (ARIS MESSINIS/AFP/Getty Images) #

Perspective is everything. It’s so easy to get spun out on our own endless, constant thoughts. Today, come up with some creative ways to be present, quickly and simply.

A friend of mine swears by this:

“When I feel like I’m stuck in my own head, I just look up at the sky for a minute. Well, more than look at it - I take it in. I realize the space, the openness. Sometimes just a few seconds is enough to derail the buzz going on in my head.”

What way can you become more present? Maybe it’s a bath, a breath, a song, a laugh, a stretch, a walk, a talk, a yell, a smell, a dog, a plunge into cold water…

Today I decided to pick positive quotes about a particular subject: healing. We’re in need of global healing, especially after the Haitian disaster. And personally, many of us harbor painful feelings for years, leading to partial state of being and a lack of wholeness.

May these quotes start the healing:

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I’m sure that’s true, but they aren’t willing to make healing a high priority. They aren’t willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.
Lindsay Wagner

A lot of victims, for example, have become addicted to alcohol and drugs. It seems to me that the church’s healing ministry is going to be enhanced through this in much broader strokes. That’s good, it’s all positive.
Roger Mahony

America’s present need is not heroics but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration.
Warren G. Harding

Any education that matters is liberal. All the saving truths, all the healing graces that distinguish a good education from a bad one or a full education from a half empty one are contained in that word.
Alan K. Simpson

Beauty saves. Beauty heals. Beauty motivates. Beauty unites. Beauty returns us to our origins, and here lies the ultimate act of saving, of healing, of overcoming dualism.
Matthew Fox

But I’m going to focus on salvation as well as physical healing.
Benny Hinn

Coming to terms with the fear of death is conducive to healing, positive personality transformation, and consciousness evolution.
Stanislav Grof

Even the people who come our way look upon us in amazement, that we run only for the healing of Mother Earth.
Dennis Banks

Evil is the shadow of angel. Just as there are angels of light, support, guidance, healing and defense, so we have experiences of shadow angels. And we have names for them: racism, sexism, homophobia are all demons - but they’re not out there.
Matthew Fox

For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.
Reba McEntire

For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.
Catherine Drinker Bowen

Healing in a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.
Hippocrates

Healing is a moral thing to do.
Jay Inslee

Healing rain is a real touch from God. It could be physical healing or emotional or whatever.
Michael W. Smith

Healing yourself is connected with healing others.
Yoko Ono

“Healing,” Papa would tell me, “is not a science, but the intuitive art of wooing nature.”
W. H. Auden

Healthy people are those who live in healthy homes on a healthy diet; in an environment equally fit for birth, growth work, healing, and dying… Healthy people need no bureaucratic interference to mate, give birth, share the human condition and die.
Ivan Illich

Henceforth the leaves of the tree of knowledge were for women, and for the healing of the nations.
Lucy Stone

I actually think sadness and darkness can be very beautiful and healing.
Duncan Sheik

I love sharing my story. It’s endlessly healing.
Ben Vereen

Source: BrainyQuote.com

It seems that we all feel some pangs of the winter blues. But SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is an even more profound psychological condition that can really wreak havoc for some in the winter months. While this condition is not fully understood by doctors, it’s thought to be related to the amounts of melatonin and serotonin in your body.

If you feel like you’re feeling SAD or just seem to be in a bit of a cold weather funk, here are few practical steps you can take:

Phototherapy:

Research shows that more than 80 percent of those treated with bright light exposure experience relief from their SAD-related symptoms. People who were exposed to bright (10,000 lux) fluorescent light for at least 30 minutes per day showed improvement in two days to four weeks.

Recent studies suggest that SAD sufferers can receive the same benefits by walking outdoors for an hour a day. Even on overcast days, natural sunlight provides enough light to help alleviate symptoms.

Exercise:

Several studies at Duke University suggest that exercise plays a key role in recovery from depression as well as prevention of relapse. Since SAD responds to the same treatments that have been successful in relieving other types of depression, the results of these studies are relevant.

In one study, researchers found that patients who engaged in brisk exercise for 30 minutes three times weekly were just as likely to experience a decrease in their depressive symptoms as patients who were treated with medication only. Researchers then followed participants for another six months, and found that those who exercised were unlikely to experience a relapse. Only 8 percent of the exercisers became depressed again. Patients who exercised and took medication relapsed at the rate of 31 percent, and those who took medication had a 38 percent relapse rate.

If you don’t already exercise regularly, try incorporating a brisk 30-minute walk into your day three times each week. In addition to mitigating depressive symptoms, this level of activity contributes to overall physical well-being, especially cardiovascular health.

Sources of Steps: author Dawn Williams

We tend to think of careers in black or white. You’re either an accountant or a chef. Never the twain shall meet. One dream must make room for another. Not in this physicians case, who has figured out a way to conjoin a childhood dream with his medical profession:

Dr. Eric Roter has two personas: an emergency room doctor who tends to cardiac arrests and accident victims and a Juilliard-trained cellist who uses his instrument to help cure the medical conditions he treats. Dr. Eric Roter plays the cello to raise awareness about ankylosing spondylitis.

His usual introduction to patients at Ohio’s Kaiser Permanente’s Cleveland Heights Medical Center is, “Hi, I’m Dr. Roter, where does it hurt?”

But now, as holiday giving reaches its peak, Roter and his cello are featured in a series of YouTube videos — “Bach to Health” — designed to raise funds for some of the toughest diseases, from lupus to cancer.

Making his debut as a soloist at New York City’s Lincoln Center at age 17, Roter abandoned a promising music career to study medicine. While he was heartened by helping others, he also felt a “betrayal for leaving an art that was so near and dear to me.”

As a student in New York, he occasionally performed as a street musician and never forgot the charity of passersby who tossed donations in his cello case.

Today, at 46, he has perfected the solo suites by Johannes Sebastian Bach — “the heart of cello literature” — and dedicated each of the 36 movements to a national medical charity.

“People trust me with their lives in the ER,” said Roter. “Perhaps they would trust me if I taught them a bit about some of the medical conditions I treat. Perhaps I could inspire people to donate to some great health care charities.”

His medical colleague at the hospital, Dr. Aaron R. Smith, said Roter likes the flexibility of emergency room shift work so he can pursue his art.

Source: ABC News

Sometimes it doesn’t take much to start a positive chain reaction. Take this example in a Philadelphia diner where one couple anonymously paid for another table’s bill:

“It was magical. I had tears in my eyes because it never happened before. I’ve been here for 10 years, and I’ve never seen anything like that,” said Lynn Willard, a waitress.

Willard and other waitresses told NBC Philadelphia that the couple started the chain reaction by paying double: for their own meal and for the tab of another table of diners at the restaurant. There’s no evidence that one group of diners knew the others.

“I could not believe it. And it continued and continued — it was very nice,” said Willard. “They asked us not to say anything until they left, say, ‘Merry Christmas, that person picked up your check.’”

For the next five hours, dozens of patrons got into that same holiday spirit and paid the favor forward.

The diner’s manager said not one person was concerned about price of the check — which ran between $12 and $30.

“It was a surprise to all of us; the girls were even taken aback,” said the diner’s manager. “Those who took the check also tipped the waitress. So nobody had to do anything other than pass it on, and that’s what they did. They just passed it forward.”

It’s a true holiday story that proves how a small gesture of kindness can create some magic.

It’s like two worlds exist during the holidays: the one portrayed by the media and the “other” one. The one portrayed by the media is picture perfect: every family is happy, healthy and singing carols and sipping eggnog by their perfectly decorated Christmas tree.

The “other” holiday is one more common to many of us. It’s the unspoken holiday - the one you’re not supposed to have, according to the barrage of commercials and adverts. If you’re family is far from perfect or you’re worried about your finances or you’ve endured some hardship this year or you’ve experienced loss or you simply don’t like the holidays - then you understand.

It’s hard to enjoy the holidays when the pressure is on. No one wants to be forced to enjoy themselves. No one likes to compare themselves to holiday perfection! But is there a way to eke out a holiday that is yours - one that includes the good, the bad and the ugly?

Here are a few pointers:

1. Ask yourself what you’d really like to do for the holidays - minus the influence of others. And include that in your day. If you have a day plan that is packed with your family, maybe you’d like to go for a quiet walk in the morning before the madness ensues. Maybe you’d like to write in your journal and review your year. Whatever it is, take whatever time you can grab and make some time about you!

2. If you’re alone, celebrate it. This is a tough one but guess what? There are many people out there who don’t have family over the holidays. It almost seems like some social crime but it doesn’t have to be. Being alone allows you to celebrate the holiday the way you see fit. The important part? Celebrate it in one way or the other. Make yourself a special meal, buy yourself a gift, wrap it and open it, watch a special movie. It’s not a crime to be alone on the holidays. (Considering what some people go through with their families, consider it an honor!)

3. Remember the old adages about the holidays. It’s NOT all about mass gift-giving and commercial-generated fantasy. It’s about reflecting, giving and getting in touch with your spiritual side during the heart of winter. It’s about being grateful for WHAT YOU HAVE, not bemoaning what you don’t.

4. Quiet holidays are fine. If you’re holiday seems simple and quiet, that’s alright. Perhaps you are afforded the opportunity to connect with the holidays that many others can’t seem to find. Maximize that time. Make the most of the quietude.

Okay, so I’m writing this from firsthand experience. I’m very ill with a flu. When I first realized I was coming down with it, I became very frustrated. I have work to do! I have people to see and places to be. This flu was going to cost me. (Little did I realize that that very attitude may have lead to my illness in the first place. We all try to squeeze so much into a day, that our immune system often pays a price.)

On the first day - the worst day - I realized I could do nothing. And I mean literally nothing. I tried to work but my focus was not there. I was too preoccupied by my own nagging physical discomfort. When I stopped trying to work, I realized that while I was sick, the day was mine, to do as I pleased. Of course, it was rather limited. I slept and read and sipped tea.

But the nice part? I never saw a day go by so slowly. The day ambled instead of feeling condensed and compressed. I had a chance to simply watch a day go by. Sounds like a crime in our day and age! We’re not supposed to watch a day go by! We’re supposed to be running, moving, shaking, doing.

So, though I was quite ill, it was one of the most relaxing days I’ve had in a while.

The next time you’re ill, think of it as a strange treat. An opportunity to watch a day go by. And remember, you can do that same thing when you’re not sick!

Just stumbled across this great site yesterday called Positive Perspectives. It includes

“Positive news, positive attitude stories, positive perspective, positive quotes by Lucy MacDonald, author of Learn to be an Optimist and Learn to Manage Your Time.”

She shares with us some great advice on how to keep the holidays stress-free and relaxing:

1. Avoid overscheduling yourself. Use an agenda to keep track of your holiday commitments so that you can physically see what you are committing yourself to. Along with your commitments to others make sure to include some downtime for yourself - even if it is half an hour here and there. Knowing that you have some personal time will help you to stay positive.

2. Lower your expectations  don’t strive for perfection, good enough is okay.

   Don’t expect your family to be perfect during the holidays. Be realistic about who they are and what your relationship is like with them all year around. That is especially true of step-families.

3. Make a budget and stick to it. The price of the gift is not equal to how much you love them. Focus on the people that you care about instead of the stuff that really doesn’t matter. Beware of the joy-to-stuff ratio: more stuff does not equal more joy.

4. Spread your socializing in the months after the holidays. Don’t try to pack a year’s worth of socializing into a few weeks. Start a new tradition with friends and make a date with friends for mid January or early February.

5. Get as much sleep as you can. Schedule one or two pyjama days for yourself or for the whole family - stay in your pj’s and stay home and give yourself permission to rest and enjoy some time together without rushing about.

Holidays are for celebrating what is truly important to you, your family, and friends. Make it the holiday you want it to be and chances are you will keep a positive attitude.

Pajama Time over the Holidays